Wine scores are like the points in Whose line is it Anyway. They Don’t matter. Or, they Do matter – but only to people getting high ‘scores’.

What wine scores attempt to do is provide ‘context’ for the relative enjoyment one will have drinking the wine. The crux is, it’s like scoring painters. It’s like scoring music. Sure there are technical aspects which ‘tend’ to underpin ‘good’ in both music and art – but when push comes to shove, only the consumer can and should decide for themselves what ‘good’ means.

The consumer. The consumer has been tricked into thinking they are too busy to make ANY decisions. The consumer snaps up products that save them ‘seconds’ in their day. The consumer spends money on things they are told will make their life better and quicker. The consumer doesn’t want to think. Hence, wine ratings. Somebody else has done the thinking for them.

Here right on the bottle is a promise of goodness for the consumer. I think what I’m trying to express can best be conveyed from the Hit movie “Tommy Boy”. As you read, substitute “points” for guarantee, and “bottle” for Box.

Tommy: Let’s think about this for a sec, Ted, why do they put a guarantee on a box? Hmm, very interesting.
Ted: I’m listening.
Tommy: Here’s how I see it. A guy puts a guarantee on the box ’cause he wants you to fell all warm and toasty inside.
Ted: Yeah, makes a man feel good.
Tommy: ‘Course it does. Ya think if you leave that box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter.
Ted: What’s your point?
Tommy: The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn’t a crazy glue sniffer? “Building model airplanes” says the little fairy, but we’re not buying it. Next thing you know, there’s money missing off the dresser and your daughter’s knocked up, I seen it a hundred times.
Ted: But why do they put a guarantee on the box then?
Tommy: Because they know all they solda ya was a guaranteed piece of shit. That’s all it is. Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for right now, for your sake, for your daughter’s sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality item from me.
Ted: Hmm. Okay, I’ll buy from you.

And that, friends, is why Point ratings suck.